Author Topic: Unfinished conversations...  (Read 3981 times)

Keshani

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Unfinished conversations...
« on: April 26, 2016, 06:35:45 PM »
She still felt nauseous. She had a feeling that sense wasn't going to go away anytime soon - not until she figured out what she was supposed to do from here. But at least she wasn't actively vomiting or so dizzy she thought she would pass out anymore.

Taking a slow breath to steel her nerves for what she was about to do she forced herself to move before she could think better of it or convince herself to do something smarter.

Marching back over to where those who had not been ushered into the meeting with the Senators where centered, each doing their own thing, the teenage girl sought out Trax.

Before she could talk herself out of it she marched up to him. She knew he would know she was there - he was too much of a warrior to not be aware of his surroundings.

"You said you wanted help.", she butted in, speaking fast as if trying to get the words out before she could change her mind. "Do you want me to go with you or not?"

She stood with her hands on her hips, and it was almost comical just how fiesty and serious she looked right now.

She stood there, waiting for his answer.

She very much wanted him to say yes, that he wanted her to come with him. If she was honest with herself she had to admit that the protectiveness he felt for her was....flattering. And it felt good. Even though she would argue against it and renounce it with every bit of strength that she had.

If she were being honest with herself, the fact that he would fight so hard to protect her (she had a feeling even from herself) was such an insane relief from always having to watch out for herself that she felt drawn to the man in a way that she never had to anyone else before...

She wanted him to say yes, that he wanted her to come with him. But she couldn't beg him to say it. She couldn't bring herself to go with him if he didn't say that he wanted her to....


Trax

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2016, 07:32:57 AM »
Trax partially raised his hands.

"Whoa, hang on just a sec." he said calmly.  Despite the comical appearance of the young girl's stance he took the situation at face value, which meant he took it seriously.

"Can we take a step back so I can catch up here?"

Keshani

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2016, 07:38:55 AM »
She took a breath and nodded warily. "Ok..."

Trax

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2016, 08:55:05 AM »
"Thank you." Trax replied.

"Alright, let's start with what I said earlier.

I said it would be easier with help, not that I wanted help.  And it's not that I don't appreciate your offer, because I do.  But with what I'll be getting into, that distinction is very important.  Life, death, or worse important.  I need you to think on that very carefully while we talk, okay?"

Keshani

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2016, 09:12:12 AM »
She thought about mentioning that based on past actions "life and death" didn't really matter that much to her but thought better of it.

"Okay...." she found herself saying again instead, waiting to see where he was going with this

Trax

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #5 on: April 29, 2016, 12:37:10 PM »
"Okay, full disclosure here.

I've managed to irritate a gangster of some notoriety so much so that he put out a contract on me.  I don't know the actual value of it, but it's big enough to draw three different hunters, one of which is seriously bad news which means the contract value is significant.  I need to convince," The way Trax said "convince", the girl could easily tell it was going to end up with someone dead.

"him to rescind it.  Problem is, it's likely going to mean dismantling a large part of his operation so no one can just step in, take over and have the resources necessary to put out another contract.

Any questions so far?"

Keshani

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #6 on: April 29, 2016, 12:43:15 PM »
She just kind of stared at him for a few seconds blinking, taking in what he had said.

"Um, no..." she answered finally.

Apparently this man knew how to get the right people mad at him...

Trax

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #7 on: April 29, 2016, 10:08:41 PM »
"A large part of this gangster's notoriety comes from his reputation of going after, or killing, two people for every one you kill of his.

Hence why I said having help would be easier, but not that I asked for help." Trax continued.

"Nim agreed to help, but that help has boundaries she doesn't know about.

And those boundaries are there so he can't go after anyone..." Trax stopped himself before saying who he cared about, "that could be used against me."

Again the man paused to make sure what he said was sinking in.

Keshani

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2016, 05:05:16 AM »
"Okay..." she said again. When will he understand that I don't really care about whether I live or not?, she thought to herself

Trax

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2016, 09:08:29 AM »
Trax looked questioningly at the girl for a moment.

"Keshani, the nuts and bolts of it are this is going to be violent, dangerous and deadly.

I get the impression you've spent a fairly considerable part of your life in pain, or under the threat of pain or death.  I don't think anyone decides that death means peace quickly or easily.  You just got your freedom and you've got your whole life ahead of you now.  You can go almost anywhere, explore almost anything, live with out fear or pain, find something that makes you happy.

Why would you want to risk all of that?"

Keshani

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2016, 04:02:16 PM »
She leaned against a tree stump behind her and took a minute to think.

Why DID she want to go with Trax? Being shot at and having people try to kill you wasn't exactly fun, was it?

But still she felt drawn to him.

He was the first person to actively show me that he cared about me. For some reason. Despite me not caring about myself. He saw my life as worth something even when I did not....

But she couldn't say that. Not now...

"See, the thing of it is," she said slowly, "I'm not really free to go anywhere and do anything am I? The Empire knows what I look like. They have all of the information that they could ever want on me since I was so generously hosted by them for the past few months..."

Her tone took on one of sarcasm and resentment at that.

"But they know that I was with you all when you rescued the Senators, which means that I'm most likely doubly on their list now - both as an escaped slave and as a traitor to the empire..."

She shrugged "So no matter where I go I'm not exactly free. If they place a bounty on my head, although I'm sure it would be much smaller than what they would place on any of you, then anyone who recognizes me would be trying to kill me, too. And I'd be all alone, having to protect myself.

"So my other option would be to go with Collan. So is helping to set up an illegal organization that is trying to overthrow the government any safer than what you're doing really?"

She didn't exactly answer the question that he asked. That was much harder to answer.

Why would she want to risk her freedom and chance to explore and live without fear or pain to help Trax?

Because I don't want to be alone anymore...


THAT is what she wanted to say....

Trax

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2016, 08:48:59 AM »
Trax had to suppress a smile.  He didn't want it to appear as if he was treating Kesh as a child even if that wouldn't be the reason for his smile.  No, he smiled because the girl was quick, and smart, just a little inexperienced.

"I've had an imperial bounty on my head for about a year, moving around under the radar isn't as difficult as you think as long as you take the proper precautions.  And there are plenty of places where the empire isn't.

Yes, they know what you look like, but a few small changes to your hair color or style, maybe some contacts for eye color and you've thrown off all but the most experienced.  Yes, sniffers will still be a problem, but unless you plan on parading through an imperial high security area you shouldn't encounter any.  I can get you set up with some very high quality ID that will pass all but the deepest of investigations.  I'm going to need some new IDs for myself, my last two had the serial numbers of the pistols that got confiscated.

As far as the rebellion, for now, it would probably be safer.  They'll have to operate quietly and in the shadows for a while.  The senators are going to have to take extra precautions, hanging around with them might not be a bad idea.

Or, I can set you up at a friend's place for a while.  Massive estate, servants, great food and company."

Trax let out a sigh.

"It's not that I don't appreciate the offer, but regardless of how I feel, or how you feel, I can't..." Trax paused.

"I already have to lay Mariah to rest because I failed to protect her, please don't ask me to risk having to do the same with you.  This wouldn't be goodbye, it would be a chance for you to live, really live, while I deal with some stuff.  And when I'm done, then I know I'll have the opportunity to get to know you."

Keshani

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2016, 07:50:37 PM »
Her face turned a bit dark at his words but all she did was nod.

"Okay." She replied, and turned away to leave without saying anything else.

In reality she felt the sudden urge to run - to get away from the situation however she could. All she could think inside her head, as irrational as it was, was that yet again, someone she had trusted enough to let in even a little bit was now pushing her away - pushing her off on her own telling her that she would be okay but not wanting her to remain a part of their life.

There was a small rational part of her mind that knew that this wasn't what Trax had said at all. But that part of her mind was greatly being overshadowed by the rest of her mind which was currently warring between emotions of resentment, abandonment, embarrassment, rejection, anger and extreme sadness.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to disappear. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to be with someone who cared.

She felt so confused again.

She didn't know what to do

She was very tempted to just disappear into the trees of the Wookie world.

He'd be sorry then....

But she stopped that thought almost as soon as it started. He wouldn't even notice....

And was a planet filled with wookies and trees REALLY the best place for her to be?

She didn't know what she wanted to do, but wookies reminded her too much of the Station and she didn't think she wanted to stay around them...

She didn't feel like she was ready to work with the Rebellion right now, either. They seemed so serious, so no-nonsense. She wasn't sure she was ready to be with a group that serious right now. She wasn't sure she wanted to be with Jedi right now, either. She didn't want to be with anyone who was convinced that relieving her past was something she had to do in order to heal. She couldn't face that right now.

She also didn't want to go live in some stranger's luxury house. She would end up getting mud on the floor or something and get kicked out.

By the time all of this had run through her head her feet had carried her pretty far away from the others. She took a slow, steadying breath and realized that if she wanted off this world she would need to get back quickly. The transport for Alderaan was leaving shortly.

She didn't know what she wanted to do from there; where she wanted to go. But she at least would go on that ship and figure something out from there.....

Trax

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Re: Unfinished conversations...
« Reply #13 on: May 03, 2016, 09:12:27 AM »
Trax was fairly certain Keshani had taken his words in a way he hadn't attended.  He wanted to walk after her and explain that it wasn't that he didn't need or want her help, it just couldn't be on the front lines.  He was likely going to need specialized and concealed explosives made, and with how easily she turned two droid cores into grenades he knew she was the ideal person for that task.  But, she would have to work at a distance from him.

If she decided to go to Alderaan, maybe she'd let him explain along the way.  If she decided to go on the Rogue Shadow, then it was unlikely he'd be able to contact her for a while, which meant he'd have to find someone else to fill her role.