With Trax on the Rogue Shadow

[Collan]

Collan had followed Trax into the Rogue Shadow, watching him almost beat at the door to the medbay. The bounty hunter clearly worried. It was clear he loved Nim a great deal or cared for her deeply. Poor bastard. Whatever she was going through was putting him through the ringer.

Collan was leaning against the bulkhead when Trax slid. His brown duster spilling over his legs, hiding the gray shirt underneath. The coat itself had a nasty discoloration on the side, still wet from Nim's vomit. It would need a cleaning soon.

"You must love her a lot," Collan commented.

[Trax]

Trax's eyes were starting at where the floor and the door to the medbay met when Collan spoke.  He wanted to be angry and tear the man a new one, verbally and perhaps even physically, for not leaving him be but he was just too tired.

He touched his nose and winced slightly before touching his left cheek just below the eye.  It had already begun to swell.  With a bit of a sigh he finally spoke.

"What do you want?" he asked still sounding exhausted.

[Collan]

Collan gave Trax a sympathetic look. He felt bad for Trax. It seemed like he changed since Karvis becoming harder at the same time he became more vulnerable. Mariah. Dead. His arm cut off. Collan's trick on the station. The man had to be at wit's end.

"Only to see how you're doing and listen if you to talk," Collan replied, "I can't tell if you've changed or I've changed but you seem different now."

[Trax]

"Sometimes people change.

And sometimes they show who they really are."

[Collan]

Well if that wasn't a veiled reference to Collan's con on the station, Collan felt he could eaten by a rathtar.

"It happens," Collan said just as cryptically, "Life is growth. Growth is change. Change is chaos...of a sort. I get it if you don't want to talk but let me at least fix your nose."

[Trax]

Trax gently ran his index finger along the bridge of his nose to find the break and determine to which side it had been pushed. Certain it was shifted left he grabbed his nose between his thumb and index finger and pulled down slightly before wrenching it to the right illiciting a small gasp.  A fresh fountain of blood began to pour down and he wiped it with his sleeve.

"All fixed." he said, not bothering to check if it was in fact straight.

[Collan]

Collan fixed Trax with a gaze. The man was stubborn to the point of apparent self-harm. Collan shook his head and pulled out medpac.

"No. It's not," he crouched down, "I'm going to give some very explicit instructions, Trax," he informed the crooked nosed bounty hunter as he fixed and solidified the cartilidge structure, "Go in there and very calmly to her that you love her. That you don't want to live with her. Tell her everything you feel about her," Collan said, "Basically...don't try to fix your own nose. You'll end up all crooked."

"And you can take for what it's worth," Collan said, not unkindly, "I get where you're coming from, so go be her boyfriend," he offered a hand to help the man up.

[Trax]

[OOC: Don't touch the nose! ]

Trax pushed Collan off as the jedi tried to work on his nose.  He finally looked at the man, and though the look in his eyes was weary, it was still dangerous.

"Don't." he said flatly.

"This isn't about how anyone feels about anyone.  And at this moment right now, it's about you needing to recognize when it's time to walk away."

[Collan]

The weariness in Trax's eyes spoke of having to cope with pain. Mariah was almost certainly part if it. Nim nearly dying on the station was another. Nim's illness...whatever it was. Was it another piece? He was tired of having to deal with something and Collan was only making it worse. Trax didn't trust him anymore and wouldn't listen anyways.

Collan took a deep breath. The danger in Trax's eyes didn't bother him. Collan had the Force as his ally and felt he could defend himself. Instead, he was hurt that he'd lost Trax's respect. It was an unexpected price to have paid for saving their lives. Especially since it kept Nim and Nightshade free. 'Unfair.' Collan had to remind himself that life wasn't fair and sometimes doing the right thing meant paying a steep price or had unexpected costs-that was a new piece of knowledge. Collan didn't try to hide how he felt. Trax might not have been a friend but Collan had valued his respect amd the loss probably was clear on his face.

He placed the medpac next to Trax and stood and made to leave. A thought occurred as he passed the door and he turned to Trax, "You're wrong, by the way. It's always about someone's feelings. Even for a Jedi or a wannabe Jedi. It's about what you feel and what you do with those feelings, Trax."

Even as he spoke the words, Collan felt a truth in them. The older version of the Jedi Code had been 'Emotions, yet peace.' Collan thought the more recent version denied the fundamental truth of life: beings felt emotions. By denying them, a Jedi stripped himself of understanding and made himself more vulnerable to the Dark Side.

Collan didn't bother to wait for a response not did he feel he needed to. Trax needed to be left alone; he could take what Collan had to offer or not. Collan hoped he would for his sake and Nim's. It was clear they cared for one another.

[GM Craig]

[OOC: 1 CP each.]