Dawson: Obligations

[GM Craig]

It had been quiet around the estate. Dawson hadn't been disturbed in 2 days, though someone was always nearby if she needed something. Arienne had been called away for a few days. Ari had left her 'apprentice' or whatever to care for Dawson while she slept, but Dawson had declined. Possibly as a result, her speel had been scant. Memories of the attack she had walked away from came back to haunt her. Faces out of the darkness, dead, empty eyes accusing her. More than once she had woken screaming. Despite that, the household respected her wishes and did not disturb her.

Finally, after 4 days, Arienne returns home. She walks into the room in the afternoon, smiling warmly at Dawson.

"I am home, dearheart. How have you been?"

Dawson notices a bandage on her abdomen, clearly visible through her light white linen dress.

[Dawson]

Hearing Ari's foot steps as she enters the room, I am quick to get to my feet and move towards her, my arms outstretched, my smile reaching my eyes and beyond " I missed..... "  my eyes take in the bandage across her abdomen, and my eyes narrow.  I stop, head cocked and eyebrow lifted.  "Explanations are in order, I think?  "  the question is clear in my voice.. my eyes.. my stance. 

[GM Craig]

She glances down. "My uncle wanted me to sit in the bacta tank until I was healed, but I insisted I be allowed to see you. Eventually, he agreed." She smiles and embraces you warmly. "I was cleaning up some loose ends for my uncle, Dawson. Such things are my duty. I am not badly injured - had I been, I would be floating in Bacta right now. My uncle worries about me almost as much as you do." She smiles and laughts lightly

[Dawson]

Pulling her closely to me, I hold her tightly.  There is still so much about her life that she does not.. can not.. will not... share with me.  I wonder how close I came to losing her this time.  And the thought that this will not be the last time is almost more than I can bear.  Bile rises sour in my throat, and I swallow hard.

"It is hard when you are not here, Ari.  Not because I cant sleep.. but because I dont know where you are.. if you are safe.. if you will return to me."  I pull back slightly and peer into her eyes.  "I cant help but think there will never be a time when I can keep you safe from all of this."

[GM Craig]

Arienne closes her eyes and sighs.

"Dawson, we are all connected. All of us, all the time. We - you and I - are never really separated. One day, when I have taught you to quiet your mind, you will be able to feel me with you always, just as I can feel you.And as for all this," she shrugs. "Life is struggle and toil. Cali provided me with a life. Trained me for a purpose. I cannot turn my back on him. Such a dishonour would poison everything I did afterwards. And it would poison us as well."

She sighs, but smiles warmly.

"Perhaps when you are free of your obligations..." she stops herself. "I am getting ahead of myself. Let us concentrate on one thing at a time."

[Dawson]

Obligations.
Again, that word.   I cannot help but wonder some times if I have put myself under a load from which I will never be able to free myself.    Is this how Jon felt when I put demands on him?  Demands for his time.. his words.. even his very presence.  I have not allowed myself to think of him in a very long time, and yet I can almost hear myself, chiding him for not spending enough time.. what -I- felt to be enough time.. with me.  And here I am doing this very same thing to Ari.  Oblilgations on myself.. obligations I place on others.. whether they want them or not.  Like Jeremy.  Like Kelso. 
Obligations.

Sliding my arms up to Ari's forearms, I gently extricate myself from our embrace.  "I want to be free of these obligations, Ari.  I want to be free to come and go as I please, so far as it pleases you.  To go where I want, where you want to be.  But by the Maker I do not want you to feel obligated to me.  I want you to be here because  you want to be.  Not to guard my sleep, or to make sure that I am well enough to do your uncles bidding.  Or because you are obligated to your uncle, and he has asked you to do these thiings."  I believe you are here because you want to be.  But still your obligations bind you to your uncle.  It is my obligations that bind me to his service."  I find myself pacing the room, my brow furrowed in thought.   "And I will be only too glad to be free of the obligation that keep me here."    Realizing how that must sound to Ari, I turn to face her, and put my hand up to stop any reply that may be forming.  "So that I can -chose- to be here.." 

Realizing how odd that must sound, wanting to not -have- to be here so that i can be here, I snort softly to myself.

[GM Craig]

She give a light, easy laugh.

"You perhaps think I do not understand? But I know."

He face grows serious.

"But you must understand something out my people. Our society is built on obligations. I am obligated to serve at my uncle's whim. ANd he, in turn, is obligated to care for me and protect me and see to my comfort. Obligations to family, friends, companions... these are the things Kothe society is built upon, Dawson. Obligations are honour. Without these things, we are nothing."

She smiles again. "But that does not mean we do not have choice. Still, I understand what you say. Debt is a very serious matter for my people, Dawson. And you will not truely be free to honour your 'obligations' - whichever ones you choose to do so - until you have satified your debt. I do understand that."

[Dawson]

Sighing deeply, I nod.

"Aye.. and theres the rub.. to quote a saying."

Tilting my head slightly to one side, I ask " And I suppose  you have heard nothing about when your uncle may have further need of my services?"

[GM Craig]

She smiles. "I was to see how you were feeling, and if you were ready for another assignment."

She cocks her head to one side, and her brow creases with concern. "How are you feeling?"

[Dawson]

I shrug, and roll my eyes.
"If I were any better.. Id be twins."
I pause for effect, and then continue..
"In truth, I am no better, and no worse than when you left me.  As to whether or not I am ready to take on another assignment from your Uncle... after the disaster I made of the last one, if he assigns me anything more stressful than walking his pet acari, I will be quite surprised.."

[GM Craig]

She nods.

"Then perhaps we should wait. My uncle has something different in mind for you."

[Dawson]

My brows furrow in confusion.

"Wait for what, exactly, Ari?"

[GM Craig]

She smiles. "Until you are able to handle something a little more strenuous. He had something in mind, but if you are not ready, then he had best ask someone else to complete the task."

[Dawson]

I cannot quite surpress the snort that escapes from somehwere between my nose and my throat.
"Truth be told, Ari, if it involves anything more strenuous than chasing you around the room for an hour or two, I dont know that i -WANT- to do it.  But physically?"  I shrug. " As well as ever.  Perhaps I should get some more details..."

[GM Craig]

She narrows her eyes, cooly appraising you.

"This will be an important mission, Dawson. If do not think you can do it, you must tell my uncle so. But if you think you are ready, then I will tell him you would like to meet with him to discuss it."