Keshani, Nightshade, Trax: Parting Ways?

[Trax]

"On my own is somewhat relative.

I've got a personal issue or two that need to be dealt with before those issues find me and deal with me when I'm not ready for them.  I can do them on my own, but it'd be easier with help."

[Keshani]

"Are you going to ask Nim to help you? "

[Trax]

"She'd already agreed to help before we had to switch gears and rescue the senators."  Trax looked at the girl with a mix of concern and confusion on his face.

"Look, I can't read minds and reading people is far from my forte.  If you want to say something to me, you can just say it.  I've got a pretty thick skin and an even thicker skull.  You're not going to hurt my feelings or my ego if that's what you're worried about."

[Keshani]

"Yeah I'm pretty sure your ego is pretty safe.." she retorted without thinking.

The teenage girl found a makeshift seat out of some crates that were sitting around and sat down, using the time to gather her thoughts.

"You don't believe suicide is ever aneed option to even consider. "

It's was more of a statement than anything else..

[Trax]

Trax smiled and gave a slight chuckle.

"Nice." he commented about her retort.  Then the smile faded slightly as the topic got more serious.

"No, I don't." the former hunter replied softly.

"Because to me it's giving up, and if I did that, I'd of been dead a long time ago.

But that doesn't overrule someone else's belief that it is an option."

[Keshani]

"Sometimes it can be a choice instead of giving up - that you're in so much pain that you make a conscious choice to be at peace...."

She flushed as she realized what she had said. This wasn't something she really had ever talked about with anyone before. Why was she now trying to explain this to him?

[Trax]

Trax studied the young girl. How could one so young know so much pain that she equated death with peace?

"Are you at peace now?"

[Keshani]

She shrugged,  deflecting the question, suddenly feeling extremely vulnerable.

"I'm not dead...", she responded.

[Nightshade]

ooc: don't want to hijack your rp moment, just be aware Nightshade will jump in here when you two are finished.

[Trax]

OOC: Ben, you're welcome to jump in any time, you don't have to wait until we're finished.

[Keshani]

OOC: Ben, did you want to jump into this convo or after it? We could move this convo to a different board if you meant afterward...

[Trax]

"No, you're definitely not.

And if you're not at peace, at the very least I hope you're not in pain."

[Keshani]

She reflexively looked down at her arms which still carried some scars from her time on the station and the slave camp on the planet below. She pulled her sleeves down to cover her exposed skin without even realizing she had done it.

Changing the subject, Kesh said softly, "I'm not Mariah, you know....and you can't hold me to those same standards."

She looked away. "You'll just be disappointed. "

And there it was. There was so much emotion in her voice it could be overwhelming to even begin to comprehend everything the girl was feeling with that one statement:

Desperation to NOT disappoint this man, fear that she already had and will continue to do so, longing to be accepted the way this other girl clearly had been, jealousy for the same reason....those emotions were just the tip of the "iceberg ", so to speak...

[Collan]

[ooc: Collan will jump in here on his way back when Trax is done...he wants to ask Keshani if she'd consider coming along with the General. Danny too.]

[Trax]

The emotion in the young girl's voice surprised the former hunter, as did the sudden choice of topics.  A mix of pain and guilt hit him, harder than he could imagine.

"I don't set standards for people.  I..." Trax paused, damn the girl had hit a sweet spot.

"I was the one who failed her and she died because of it."