Keshani and Trax: Prisoners

[Trax]

Trax's head dropped slightly as the image of Mariah lying in the stasis pod flooded his mind.  He took a slow deep breath as he worked to calm the surge of anger that was rising within him.  What's taking that sign he's supposed to wait for before taking action so long?  Trax's eyes looked at the senators and the old jedi.  Were they paying any attention to the conversation?

"What about her?" he asked, trying to keep his voice sounding detached from his emotions.

[Keshani]

Her vision was still slightly blurry and her head still threatening to split into two. She couldn't see that far yet and any facial cues that Trax may have displayed were lost on the girl.

But the change in his voice, the pause as he drew in a slow deep breath....those cues were clear as day. And as detached as he was clearly attempting to sound, it was all too easy to see right through the guise.

'Right', she thought to herself. 'Not a care in the galaxy...'

"Why do I remind you of her?", she asked.

And there was a slight shift in her tone of voice, as well. A bit more curiosity. A bit....gentler, for want of a better word.

She wasn't trying to attack or cause pain here. That much was clear....

[Trax]

"Similarities in appearance...even skills and attitude.  Although your attitude has a lot more of an edge to it.

That's not a shot or anything, just an observation."

[Keshani]

It was almost comical the way the girl was so obviously warring with herself over Trax's comment.

Her face flushed red and her jaw set in a manner that just shouted out "Trouble".

But her shoulders slumped at the same time - a universal sign of surrender/dejection....

It was a while before she spoke, her brain obviously struggling to sort some things out.

"Sharp edges tend to protect better than dull ones...," she finally muttered.

There was a hint of something new in her voice. Envy? Longing? Trax couldn't be sure. If only Nim was here.....

[Trax]

"True." Trax replied, wondering what was going on with the girl.  Her expression and her body language seemed to contradict each other.  One made it look like she was going to fight, the other like she was giving up.

"The problem with using sharp edges for protection is you risk hurting yourself even when there's nothing to protect against."

[Keshani]

"What if I don't care about that risk anymore?" she asked softly

[Trax]

A concerned look came across Trax's face.  Such a hopeless response from someone so young.

"Then I guess you spend your life not only hurting yourself, but anyone that tries to help you."

[Keshani]

Her expression went blank at that and her hands unconsciously balled up into fists.

"I never asked for any help", she shot back way too quickly. It was obviously a reflex response - one that had been used many times throughout the years.

But she realized as the words almost flew out of her mouth on their own accord that maybe, just maybe, this time they weren't quite true.

She took a slow breath and forced her hands to relax.

"Sorry...", she mumbled, not daring to look at the man to see his reaction.

[Trax]

"No, you're right, you didn't ask.  We...I just assumed you wanted help instead of asking.  You don't need to apologize, but I do, and I'm sorry.

If you do want help, you don't have to ask, just let me know that you're willing to accept it."

Trax smiled a bit.

"But uh, try not to judge the quality of that help by the current situation.  Not exactly a result I'll be putting on my future resume."

[Keshani]

There was a frown on her face, but there was a change in her tone again.

"I...." she stopped. Were there tears in her eyes? It was hard to tell from this distance.

"All I am is a burden." she finally got out, again, not looking at him.

[Trax]

"Are you so sure about that?

The girl I saw power up the lift, or turn a pair of droid cores into grenades, or come up with a plan to use those grenades to fry a pair of mechs didn't look like anything close to a burden to me."

[Keshani]

"And what about the girl that you end up risking your life to try to protect? You don't even KNOW me!"

There was so much in her voice and expression. Again, if only Nim was here...

Frustration at FEELING like a burden, confusion over the fact that he WOULD risk his life to protect her and perhaps even some fear that it would mean she owed HIM something in the future....

[Trax]

"I hope that by trying to protect her I succeed in doing so.  That way maybe I get the chance to get to know her.

And if she decides I don't get that chance, it still doesn't make her a burden to me and it was still worth any risks I took."

[Keshani]

"Why?"

One word. It was almost a plea. No one had ever cared about her in her whole life. Except for Mikki. But that hadn't been real, either.

Why should this be any different?

[Trax]

Because he'd failed Mariah, because he'd probably failed Nim, and because he felt Keshani was Mariah giving him a second chance.  As stupid as that sounded.

"Because it's important to me."