She saw what she interpreted as relief in Trax's body language when she didn't push the issue, which made her feel a strange feeling. Was it...gratification?
She really had never cared much before about what others thought about her.
Well, no, truth be told that wasn't exactly true. She pretended to not care. That was survival. But in truth she always really had. And that care had come back to bite her more times than she would have liked to remember.
But she seemed to care more about what this man thought about her than anyone else before. Well, almost anyone else.
Would this turn out just as disastrous as those other times?
That thought there was enough to almost make her open her mouth again - to spurt SOMETHING out to make him angry - to make him decide that whatever this other girl had been to her she was not that person and that he should just give up on her.
Because she wasn't sure that she could deal with rejection again.
But she forced herself to breathe in and out slowly and hold her tongue.
"Then I guess you spend your life not only hurting yourself, but anyone that tries to help you."
Damn him for saying that.
Somehow that phrase had dug its way inside of her, through her carefully constructed barriers that had allowed her to survive these past few months if not years.
Because the one thing she had NEVER been able to bring herself to do, despite how much she had loathed some people in her life, was to intentionally cause them permanent harm. Justice yes. Intentional malicious harm, no. It just wasn't who she was.
She closed her eyes for a second and part way curled her body back up, hugging her knees to her chest.
"I just hope that you're not too disappointed when you finally realize that I am not her..."
