Nearing Alderaan

[Trax]

It was the morning, if there was a morning in hyperspace, before they reached Alderaan.  Trax was already awake and looking up at Nim, still asleep in the bed, from his makeshift bed on the floor.  The man was eager to plant his feet on solid ground and breathe some fresh air.  If it hadn't been for his regular and almost daily beatings by Nightshade, the man would have gone crazy days ago.

He shifted onto his side and winced a little, his last round with Nightshade had likely bruised a rib.  But thankfully the shinobi had left his face alone and his nose was finally healing nicely.  Nim stirred a little and he saw her eyes flutter open.  He remained quiet, allowing the woman to wake up fully on her own.  He gave her a small smile when she finally turned and looked at him.

"Morning Beautiful."

[Nim Naja]

Nim stared at him sleepily for a moment before yawning, her eyes involuntarily tearing up. She wiped the wetness away and smiled back.

"G'mornin', sugar."

[Trax]

Better than asshat, Trax jokingly thought to himself as he sat up.  He looked at Nim, a somewhat uncertain look on his face.

"You know, it's a little weird, knowing that you can't read me like an open book right now.  I'm just not sure if it's weird because what's rattling around in my head is private again, or if it's weird because of how quick I got used to not having any secrets from you."

Trax wasn't sure that made any sense, but he didn't know how to explain himself any better.  But it was obvious he was trying to get something out.  Maybe some kavvy before trying to have an actual conversation was a good idea.

[Nim Naja]

She rested her chin on her hands with her head on the edge of the bed. "It's.. actually kind of eye opening for me. Being able to read people so well I'm able to do things like avoid bad timing, awkward conversations. Avoid talking to people that don't want to be talked to, or I really shouldn't talk to. Or change tactics on how I approach a conversation with them. It also makes bargaining easier. Not being able to do any of these things is kind of like suddenly being blind. I have to literally ask a million questions - to which I have zero patience - to answer something I could done in an instant before."

[Trax]

"So what you're saying is now you're just like the rest of us, plain and ordinary, wading through the oceans of social interaction sometimes barely keeping our heads above the water?"  Trax joked.

[Nim Naja]

"Oh I know, it's soo pedestrian." She rolled her eyes mockingly.

"Actually," Nim smiled, her expression turning bashful, "I umm.. was very socially awkward. To the point that I avoided people. Especially on Lorrd. I buried myself in the holonet because I coukd interact with people without fear of them seeing me, judging me. Mocking me. I would be judged on intelligence alone."

[Trax]

"If anyone judges you, I'll be more than happy to re-adjust their thought processes." Trax's tone was fairly light, but he was dead serious.

"I need to share something...I'm not...accustomed to being completely open...and to be honest, honest.  But I want to be, with you anyway.  Maybe even be better...

PROXY, he uh, gave me one hell of a medical history on you.  Before you mentioned what you did about you, Alexa, a family."  Trax paused, clearly uncomfortable but trying.

"The whole thing with the neural regenerator...it's for you, if you're willing.  I asked PROXY if money wasn't an issue, what was the best thing to help you get through this.  That was his recommendation.

I'm not looking to force the issue, or force you to go through with anything you don't want to.  I'm...I just...if I can help...or I guess I mean if I help get the help..." the man was clearly having difficulty expressing himself.

[Nim Naja]

Nim just blinked at him for a moment, trying to make sense of everything that he just said. One thing at a time...

"Neural regenerator.. for me?" She was just as shocked to hear it as he was uncomfortable saying it. "What in the kark for? What would that do to help?"

[Trax]

Trax gave the woman a look of in-credulousness.  You want me to explain what a neural regenerator does and how it works?

"Yes, for you." he began as the look faded into a more caring one.

"PROXY says it'll repair the damage the glitterstim has done.  I can't tell you to what extent, I can patch up some nasty wounds but I'm no brain surgeon.  He did say it'll also knock your withdrawal symptoms down to that of a stomach virus that'll last about 2 weeks."

[Nim Naja]

"Uhh, okaay.." she replied tentatively. "Well, um, thanks for the honesty. It's mega kind of you, but I'll have to think on it, do some research. I'm a little hesitant on letting people mess with my brain, ya'know?"

"What else did Proxy say? Or was that all?"

[Trax]

Trax gave the woman a nod of understanding.

"Yeah, I know.  I just didn't want to try and spring it on you or anything, or make it seem like I was trying to force it on you, or you into it.

As for what else, he ran the gambit, lacerations on your wrists, widespread fractures, close contact plasma burns..." Trax stopped, unsure if he should go on, or needed to.

"You haven't exactly been kind to yourself." The words themselves could have been construed as being humorous in nature, but the man's tone was both quite serious and concerned."

[Nim Naja]

?That was me being kind to myself,? she replied, neither humorously nor seriously but maybe somewhere in between. She flopped over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. It kept Nim from looking at him, a defensive measure of some sort. The galaxy was a selfish place and without Allie she didn't have to worry about someone else worrying. No one actually gave half a womprat?s arse until Trax came along.

?Am surprised he picked up all that. Everything visible is mostly grafted or tattooed over. And It's not like any of it was relevant to the gut slash. Why'd he go into it?"

[Trax]

"Well, being the expert in all things droid and computer that I am, I would have to say I have no karking idea." Trax said lightheartedly.

He slid over to sit beside the bed and took Nim's hand.

"I can't imagine you ever doing anything that would make stuff like that be considered being kind to yourself." Trax gently rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb as he held it a little tighter with his hand.

"I'm sorry I can't fully understand what you're going through, or went through.  I never lost anyone mean that much to me."

[Nim Naja]

She listened to his words and felt the soft touch of his hand and slowly it dawned on her just how different Trax had become since their meeting. The paranoia and anxiety he had displayed at her restaurant was nowhere in sight. The hands that had killed many a man were caressing hers with tender love and care. He spoke like a true friend that cared for her wellbeing and not just another client that would walk away not giving a damn what might happen to her as a result of the dangerous work she’d done for them.

“Kindness was irrelevant. Some things I did to stay alive are far worse than the things I did to die. The things I did to try and forget. I hated myself for what she did. I hated life without her more.”

She paused a moment, thinking further. “I haven't been in a relationship since. I just haven't cared to or really found someone worth it. Besides, I've had to keep relocating since they stormed our workplace. So I guess the fact that this happened at all,” she pointed between them, “is pretty miraculous. And no, don't even dare say ‘it was destiny.’”

[Trax]

"Don't believe in destiny.

But who knows," Trax smiled as a sarcastic look quickly spread across his face, and in a tone that matched spoke again.

"Maybe it was the will of the force."