Flashback Conversation (While in Transit)

[Keshani]

"Why wouldn't you support it?", she asked, not answering his actual question.

[Trax]

"I'll never understand what you've been through.  I don't think anyone who hasn't been through it can, we can only imagine and even that doesn't come anywhere close to having to live it.  You've more than earned the right to have a chance at a normal life.

If you join, sooner or later you'll end up in a position where the possibility of capture by Imperial troops is very real." Trax smiled a small, sad smile.

"And next time the blaster may not be on stun."

[Keshani]

She flinched backwards as if he had slapped her and she was quiet for a bit, memories flashing through her mind of the station, the imperials, the pistol she had held to her head fully expecting then and there to end her pain and suffering, and then her surprise and terror when she woke up realizing that she had failed.

She also remembered Trax there with her watching out for her, protecting her, even after she had tried to do something that he just did not believe in.

A swirl of emotions flashed through her mind - anger at him bringing that memory up, wondering if he was trying to scare her out of joining the rebellion with it; aching sadness as she realized that she still did not feel whole, that she still hadn't really found anything she considered worth living for; guilt at seeing Trax's sad smile - at hearing the sadness echoed in his voice; confusion - because there was truth to what he was saying and it brought up a whole different direction of thought about whether she should or shouldn't join the rebellion.

"I..."

She stopped. What did she want to say?

I can make sure it's set to kill?

I don't know what a normal life is?

I'm not sure I want to live a normal life?

I'm not sure I want to live at all still?

She froze, at a loss for words. She didn't feel like she could say any of those things to Trax. She wasn't sure which one she was actually feeling.

Finally she just shrugged. "I didn't do so well with avoiding imperial troops before this either...", she commented. But it was an act, and through her voice it would be clear that there was a lot more going on inside of her head that she didn't voice.

[Trax]

From Kesh's reaction Trax's words had bit a little deeper than intended.  Still, they had accomplished what he'd wanted them to, to think about the risks of joining.  She knew better than most the cruelty of the Empire

"I'm sorry Kesh, I know that was a bit of a cheap shot.

I just want you to be sure of what you're getting into and all the risks involved.  And if it does happen, I'd like to have some degree of certainty that you'll still be alive when I come for you."

[Keshani]

She relaxed a bit in her body language, but it was clear watching the expression on her face that she was still semi-lost in thought.

His last statement seemed to jar her out of it, though.

"Wh-when you come for me?" she asked, clearly a bit confused by the statement

[Trax]

"Well yeah," Trax began, sounding a little confused by Kesh's question.  Of course he'd come for her.

"You think I'd let what ever idiots got you caught in the first place plan and execute your rescue operation?"

[Keshani]

She looked down at the ground again picking at more grass, her face turning a bit red.

"I'm not worth that", she mumbled more to herself than to Trax.

[Trax]

"Thing is, you don't get to decide if you're worth it or not." Trax replied to Kesh's mumbling.

[Keshani]

She looked up at him, shaking her head, a bit of anger seeping into her voice. Or maybe it was just frustration. And maybe a bit of hurt. It was difficult to tell.

"Trax you have people you care about; people you love. You can't save everyone..."

[Trax]

"I have no intentions of saving everyone, just a select few." Trax said in his matter of fact way.

"Which of course would be much easier if those select few would make a little more effort to stay out of harm's way." he continued in a much lighter, even slightly humorous tone.

"But in the end, it's your decision, and even if I don't support it I'll accept it.  And do what I can, when I can to help if you need it."

[Keshani]

"Trax," she said, her voice taking on a rather sarcastic (and possibly...playful? tone?) There was certainly a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"I've NEVER stayed out of harms way, in case you have forgotten that..."