Keshani & Collan: A little problem

[Collan]

Collan leaned in on his elbows. There was something there, but what? What made her hesistate? She still had the reserve a slave possessed for self-survival.

"If it wasn't important, you'd not have reacted like this. I'm not that great a judge of behavior nor can I read minds but I can tell when some wants to know something but for whatever reason doesn't want to ask. If it's not really important, that's one thing but if it's important but you (for whatever reason) can't bring yourself to ask...tell me. I won't press but it's not my place to judge you and I will answer any question to the best of my abilities."

[Keshani]

She took a slow breath again, considering.

"It's just...there was a specific point in time on the station when Ch'alana was lowering me down the turbolift shaft...he...I think...did something to me."

[Collan]

Collan nodded.

"I noticed that. I think he did too. He gave you a sense of calm that it sermed like you needed."

[Keshani]

Her temper flared up a bit at that. "What right did he, does ANYONE, have to make those decisions for another person without their permission?"

Her fists were balled up a bit she spoke

[Collan]

Collan was calm as he said, "I can tell you but you may not like the answer."

[Keshani]

"I hate being treated like a child. I can take care of myself."

It's was almost as if she was daring him to challenge the statement.

[Collan]

Collan was calm. His face empty of emotion except for empathy. The girl had just been through her first live fire combat and was a nearly freed slave to boot.

"As you've amply demostrated," Collan noted in reply, "But you're viewing things through the lens of your experience, not Ch'lana's. He i...was a Jedi Knight, who served in the Clone Wars. He's been in more combat than probably even Trax. Put yourself in his shoes. You have a mission, a vital one that you received as a vision from the Force. Then you via other means that the potential leadership of a real rebellion against the Empire and its Dark Side masters are prisoners of said Empire. You encounter a being who, despite having the precise knowledge and skills needed, is practically, to you anyways, on the verge of a mental breakdown. What do you do?"

[Keshani]

"Leave her alone or ask permission" she retorted back way too quickly

[Collan]

Collan shook his head, "You're still in you're own head. Put yourself in Ch'lana's head. What do you do?"

[Keshani]

She glared at him for a second but pointedly didn't answer, partly because she knew he was right, but also because if she thought about it she had to admit that what he had done had been a relief. So much so that she kept finding herself wishing it was still going on.

It was kind of awful living in a constant world of fear and pain. But until the Jedi had taken that away she hadn't realized how much of a weight she had been carrying. Now she did and it was making her very tired....

[Collan]

Collan waited but he held out a hand, palm up. This was something she had to deal with herself. He could be there with a hand and ear to listen.

But, ultimately, there was little he could do to help the girl. Whatever she was going through, only she could walk that path. How long had it taken him? Months? A whole year? Was he free even?

[Keshani]

"What am I supposed to do now?" She asked.

[Collan]

Collan gave her a quizzical look, head cocked to one side. What sid she need? Guidance? A direction? Actually...

"What do you want to do?" He relied.

[Keshani]

"I....don't know."

And there it was again...it seemed almost like her mouth was saying one thing with words, but her brain through her tone was saying something else.

Because as much as being on the Station had been absolutely terrifying,  she had, for possibly the first time in her life had a purpose. She had even possibly helped once or twice...it was a.....different....experience.

[Collan]

"A fair answer. Though not entirely, I think, the whole truth. I get the feeling that there are a whole bunch of things going through your head," Collan noted, "Questions or fears you can't or won't articulate. I'm won't say you need to ask for help; any of us would offer help if we knew what was going on inside you. But it's inside you and even had I the skills to look inside your head, I wouldn't."

"We can offer choices; we can even help you figure what might be best for you, but the decision is yours."

Collan sat back but he never withdrew his hand.

"I will tell you a secret of mine. I've seen and done a lot of things. Been in some pretty severe fights. Been hurt bad a couple times. I was never as so scared as I was on the station. Especially when I had that audience with the Emperor."