Keshani & Collan: A little problem

[Keshani]

She nodded and thought about that for a minute. The worst feeling she remembered was at the end, when she was afraid Trax had been upset with her. That feeling, to her, had been worse than any fear for her life. A life was finite. Once it was over there was no more pain. But for some reason living with the disappointment of that one man seemed way more scary...

"Who Mariah?" She asked

[Collan]

[ooc: remember Collan doesn't know she's dead in the main thread ]

"She's a friend of ours," Collan said, "Come to think of it. You do look a bit like her. That'd be funny to have you two in the same room."

[Keshani]

"Sounds like she's pretty special to Trax...."

[Collan]

"She was like his little sister in a lot of ways," Collan noted, "He'd helped out of a few tight spots she'd gotten into with some local...let's call them gangsters."

[Keshani]

"Must be nice..." she mumbled. She wasn't even aware she said the words out loud. To have an older brother to take care of you....her heart physically hurt with a pang of longing....

[Collan]

Collan felt bad for Keshani just then. He took her hand and said, "That's kinda what we do here. We look out for each other. I can tell something is eating at you. You hesitate. You talk under your breath. If I had to guess, I'sd say you're afraid of something or someone. Or a bunch of somethings."

[Keshani]

"Everyone's afraid of something...." she answered.

[Collan]

"But what are you afraid of, Keshani," it was the first time he'd used her name. He intended it to carry a certain force, to startle her a little bit and perhaps force a reaction.

[Keshani]

She visibly flinched at the stronger tone and the use of her name. Before they had come to the Station it had been so long....

"You wouldn't understand. "

[Collan]

"Take chance," Collan said, "It can't hurt you any more than it does already. And, I can tell you from experience that holding pain in only makes so much worse."

[Keshani]

She looked at him for a minute and even opened her mouth to speak a few times but no words came out. Finally she just shook her head, both frustration and pain obvious on her face.

"I can't. I...the words....I cant!" She pounded the table in frustration and stood up.

"You need to get this thing out of me before I put all of us in even more danger."

[Collan]

"We are hyperspace for the next two weeks," Collan said evenly, "You cannot be tracked till we enter a system...and even they have to be looking for you. And I doubt the Wookies would ever give you up."

"Sit," the seat moved backwards of its own accord, Collan's right hand had shot out.

"Close your eyes," it was not really an order but it was close, "Listen to me and my voice. Do what I tell you. I want you to tense your feet and then relax them. Then your calves...your thighs. Your buttocks," Collan said, "Keeping moving the tension and relaxation up through your body till your reach your neck. Keep your eyes closed."

[Keshani]

"Enough worries have died for me already." She said softly as she remembered...

But she did ask he told her to, at least the sitting down part. It was VERY hard still to convince herself to close her eyes and even harder to keep them closed.

On the station she had lost her hearing for a period of time and that had been scary enough. But her sight was something she had always depended on to give her warning and protect herself. Keeping her eyes closed, leaving herself vulnerable, was hard.

But she tried.  She really did. She tried listening to his voice and doing what he said. But "relaxing" wasn't something she exactly had very much experience with....

"Um. There's not any Namana liquor on this ship is there?" She was only half joking.

[Collan]

"You don't need any drugs," Collan said, "Focus on tensing and relaxing your muscles. Learn the difference between tension and relaxation. Trust what you feel in your body."

"Take your time," Collan kept his voice smooth and consistent, "Don't worry about what's in your head. Focus on your muscles."

[Keshani]

"That's a lot easier said than done. " she retorted. "And I've been drinking Namana liquor forever. "