In Search Of Maris...

[Keshani]

She took a deep breath. She still didn't trust this whole jedi thing implicitly. But she wanted to trust Maris....

"Is it safe?"

[GM Craig]

"You mean, am I going to turn you into a drooling vegetable?" She laughs lightly. "It's safe enough. Worst case, I'd make you sleep for a bit."

She butt-scoots a little closer to you, and sits cross-legged in front of you.

"You're going to feel things in your mind. I'll be gentle, but it can be a little startling. It'll be hard, but not to resist - it's easier for me if you don't fight it."

She pauses, hands on her knees. "You sure you want to try this?"

[Keshani]

"Are you going to read my thoughts?"

[GM Craig]

She crinkles her brows. "Not on purpose. But I might pick up stray surface thoughts, sort of by accident. I won't be sifting through your memories or anything."

She takes your hand in hers. "We don't have to do this. And you can tell me to stop at any time."

[Keshani]

She closed her eyes for a minute steadying her nerve. Her hand in Maris's - the physical contact - was something new for her. It felt...nice. Like how she imagined it might feel like for someone to actually care about you; care for you.

She let out a breath and nodded.

"Let's try."

[GM Craig]

"Tell me to stop at any time."

Maintaining your hand-holding with her left hand, she raises her right hand, extending the first two fingers. She touches the right side of your head.

Immediately, you feel something. It is difficult to describe, but there is a mental pressure, working it's way into your mind. It is difficult to not resist, but you manage to stay somewhat calm. It goes on like that for a minute. Then another. By this time, Maris has closed her eyes in concentration.

Images flash in your mind, like strobes going off, too quick to see. Then, you feel it - a spreading of calm. It flows out, and you feel your fears and anger blow away like chaff in the wind.

A moment later, the fingers leave your temple, and the presence in your mind withdraws.

Maris is looking at you, concern in her eyes. "How do you feel?"

[Keshani]

She closed her eyes for a moment in contentment, much like one might feel after a really relaxing massage.

"I wish....that I could feel like this forever." She finally answered.

[GM Craig]

Maris purses her lips, and nods knowingly.

"You can, you know. Always feel this way. But it would mean letting go of a lot of stuff."

She looks away, shyly. "I know, it's hard. You deal with pain and deprivation every day, day in an day out without end, it starts to define you. You can start to feel like if you didn't have that, you wouldn't exist anymore. It can be scary to think about that. And it's not like you flip a switch and forget all the druk you've been force-fed your whole karking life. It takes work, and time. But it gets a little easier every day to not define yourself by what happened to you, but by the choices you make now."

You're not sure if she's talking about you, or herself.

[Keshani]

....and with her words, Kesh found herself doing something she had never, in her whole entire life, even THOUGHT of doing. Without any conscious thought whatsoever she found herself moving over to where Maris was sitting and leaning up against her, tentatively at first. It was much the type of position a child might take up when snuggling with a beloved parent who he/she looked to for safety and comfort. It was an instinctual position that all children seem to know. Yet Kesh had never had any type of experience with before.

Her body remained a bit tense, as if afraid she would be rejected by the Zabrack female.

"And what about the memories that stay with you to haunt you even when you're asleep?" She asked softly. "How do you make those go away?"

[GM Craig]

She accepts the contact. She sighs heavily, and shakes her head. "I wish I knew."

[Keshani]

"Can't you make memories disappear with the Jedi stuff? I mean, if you can affect minds..."

[GM Craig]

Leaning in to you, she shakes her head. "Not one of my skills. It can be done, so I've been told, but I don't know how. I do know that it is very tricky - you can scramble someones mind doing stuff like that."

[Keshani]

She shivered at that thought.  "Nevermind then" she said quickly, relishing in Maris's embrace.

"Do you think it's still possible for people like us to live a normal life? "

[GM Craig]

She shifts a little and takes your left hand in her right, interlacing the fingers, and resting the joined hands on her raised knee.

"I don't know, Keshani. But I plan on finding out. One day at a time."

[Keshani]

"Do you think that wanting to kill yourself makes you a bad person? "